


Maybe We're Morons

by aphenglandstan



Series: USUK Drabbles [9]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drunk America (Hetalia), Drunk England (Hetalia), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 07:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18027158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan
Summary: Alfred and Arthur act like drunken idiots and tell each other dumb pickup lines.





	Maybe We're Morons

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe they're born with it. Maybe it's drunken stupidity.

We were both a little tipsy. Maybe Arthur a little more so. He never could hold his liquor very well. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was how gorgeous he was in the dim lighting of the bar. What mattered was how nice he looked to me in that moment. What mattered was the way he giggled at my jokes and that I had the confidence to flirt with him.

“You- You know? If we were the alphabet.” He took a pause in the middle of his pickup line to grin at me. “I’d put me and you together.”

I laughed so hard that I doubled over. “I don’t think that’s exactly how it goes, but you’re really cute.”

“At least I had a pickup line. Try a little bit harder than that. If you’re trying to seduce me, I’m not inviting you back to my place just because you called me cute.” Arthur leaned against the bar while he spoke.

“Okay.” I hiccuped, letting out a laugh because of the pickup line in my head. I knew Arthur liked to plant flowers and spoke rose language. “If you were a rose, you’d be red. Because red roses mean love. And I love you.”

He gave it a thumbs down despite the grin on his face.

“Come on! That one was better than yours!” I pouted at him, gently shoving his shoulder.

He took a moment to regain his balance before replying. He let one of his hands wander to my thigh, tugging at the material of my pants. “Did you get these pants 50% off? Because in my room, they’d be 100% off.”

I tried not to laugh. “That one’s pretty good. I have a better one, though. Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only ten I see.”

“Idiot,” Arthur mumbled, “Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. You’re such a dummy. You know that? You’re not smart… at all!”

“What? I thought it was a pretty good one.” I grinned.

“I’m from England! Don’t you hear the accent? You like my accent. You said it’s sexy! So why don’t you remember where I’m from?” Arthur chose to lean on me instead of the bar.

“I know where you’re from! I’m just saying that you’re hot!” I frowned.

“Oh! I like that you think I’m hot.” Arthur nuzzed closer to my neck, his hot breath against my skin.

“I like that you like that I think you’re hot.” I kissed the top of his head.

Arthur just giggled in reply.

“So uh,” I pointed to some random girl by the door, “That’s my ex.”

“Uh-huh,” Arthur murmured.

“So let’s make out to make her jealous.”

“I like that idea,” Arthur said, licking his lips.

We didn’t exactly make out- or we didn’t make out well, at least. We were both fairly drunk at that point and the kiss was sloppy and open-mouthed. But I enjoyed it, because it was a kiss from Arthur.

He quietly laughed. “That wasn’t your ex, was it?”

“Nope,” I replied, “But I like kissing you.”

“That’s good. I like kissing you, too.”

“I like kissing you more than you like kissing me,” I said, leaning my head closer to his.

“Stop lying, idiot!”


End file.
